The Capitalist: Standard Life scrambles to avoid ‘STD’ ticker
What’s in a name? A whole lot of issues for Standard Life’s new Stock Exchange ticker; delve into that and more in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
STANDARD STRIFE
FTSE 100 darling Phoenix Group announced last year that it would be taking on Standard Life, the heritage name it acquired in 2021, as its headline brand. But The Capitalist hears the rebrand is causing some headaches internally – in particular regarding their stock market ticker. With STAN already taken by Standard Chartered, the pensions group has found themselves up against the ultimate puzzle – how to pick three to four letters from STANDARD LIFE without spelling out a sexually-transmitted illness. The first choice – STD – is considered far from satisfactory while the next most natural combination – ST(L)I – has prompted similar objections.
The Capitalist can only suggest reaching out to Aberdeen (formerly Abrdn, and formerly Aberdeen before that), from whom Phoenix acquired the Standard Life brand, for advice on how to cope with the challenges of disemvowelment.
XT-VEXED
Spare a thought for the poor BBC staffer who felt compelled to email hedge fund luminary Alexander Gerko, asking whether he would appear on a documentary about “billionaire wealth” in the UK. The series would – she told the founder of quant trading juggernaut XTX Markets – explore society’s “fascination with billionaires” by its influencer presenter, Shabaz Ali, “throwing himself into the ultra-high-net-worth world”.
Gerko – who regularly tops the Sunday Times’s list of Britain’s highest taxpayers – gave the glib-sounding programme characteristically short shrift, replying: “I wouldn’t touch the BBC with a ten foot pole, let alone for this nonsense. Tell them to go report on rape gangs enquiry [sic], or, like, any actual news.” The Capitalist is all for condemning bizarre commissioning decisions by our state broadcaster, though in this instance we think we would have rather enjoyed seeing Gerko, a never knowingly overdressed, famously understated geek, disabuse viewers of their assumptions about Britain’s dwindling billionaire masses.
WUTHERING FRIGHTS
As Bronte purists fret over Emerald Fennell’s new adaptation of Wuthering Heights, Visa is more worried that it’s made us all lovelorn, more likely to get back on the apps and become fixated with our own toxic Heathcliffs – only the new generation of love rats are romance scammers. “Visa warns that romance scammers, who are increasingly active and successful at defrauding consumers, will likely use this increased focus on finding love, and the film, to target innocent romantics,” says the card firm. FCA data shows that romance fraud rose nine per cent in the last financial year, costing victims over £106m.
“Every day fraudulent messages are shared across dating apps and social media, with scammers using increasingly sophisticated methods… If your prospective ‘Heathcliff’ tells you they love you surprisingly early (“love bombing”), or makes up excuses for why they can’t meet you (isolation and moving discussions to private platforms and messaging apps), or finishes conversations by telling you about an upcoming financial windfall (urgency and coercion), alarm bells should be ringing.” So there we have it: the ultimate love story from Wuthering Heights? Be wary of potential suitors requesting bank transfers, oversharing personal details quickly, and claiming to have a high income but no access to funds, all the while refusing to meet. Edgar, after all, was at least rich.
TIME OUT FOR MS BIRBALSINGH
She’s known as Britain’s strictest headmistress and Katharine Birbalsingh has previously given Suella Braverman a telling off, telling the former home secretary to “take a hike”. “I really am not happy with Suella Braverman using our school as a political football to enhance her career,” she tweeted back in 2024. But when Braverman cited her involvement in setting up Michaela Academy on being unveiled as Reform UK’s new ‘shadow education secretary’, Birbalsingh remained as silent as one of her famously disciplined classrooms. Hands up who thinks she is being lined up as one of the “experts” Nigel Farage is so keen to recruit.
APPRENTICE HOPEFUL SPILLS TEA
As much as they like to deny it, The Apprentice touts a sort of ‘good cop’ ‘bad cop’ energy, with Tim Campbell MBE seen as more approachable than his counterpart Baroness Karren Brady. Brady is seen as formidable, those tightly edited clips of her pouting aggressively when contestants make a bad business decision doing nothing to help that image. But it may surprise die-hards to find out that supposedly no-nonsense Brady also has a softer side: one contestant from the BBC’s currently-running 20th series told us that the Baroness is way more likely to stand up for contestants and help them defend their corner when they come under fire from Lord Sugar in the Board Room than Campbell is. The Capitalist can only presume gentler presentations draw fewer viewers. Isn’t it boring, being kind?
PEDI-POLITICS
The scourge of pedicabs? No more, promise new regulations, with London Mayor Sadiq Khan finally setting out on a long-promised crackdown on the three-wheeled feather-boa-draped beasts. Under the new rules, pedicabs will now have to adhere to strict fare restrictions, be fitted with a number plate and will no longer be allowed to blare loud music. What is sad news for ABBA fans is music to the ears of former Tory MP Nickie Aiken, who previously told City PM, in utter earnestness, that the matter was “one of the biggest issues in Westminster”. Hopefully this should straighten out the whole country then.