The Capitalist: Pedicabs, WH Smith and HMRC hang-ups
Pedicab politics, the demise of WH Smith and taxman ghostings: catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
POETRY, PEDICABS AND PETTY, PETTY POLITICS
It can be hard to get noticed in the House of Commons, particularly these days given there are hundreds of new MPs trying to catch the attention of journalists. Spare a thought for Lib Dem MP Roz Savage, who attempted to deliver a poem she’d written about environment secretary Steve Reed. She was promptly stopped by the Speaker on the grounds that members shouldn’t refer to other MPs by name, leaving her adrift with stanzas of Reed rhymes that no longer worked.
But it’s not just poetry plaguing parliament, with this week bringing a long-awaited update to the government’s promised crackdown on pedicabs (yes the tuk-tuks) which the Tories last year vowed to end the “scourge” of in the capital. The music-blasting rickshaws came under fire for, quite frankly, being annoying, but also – somehow – all being completely unlicensed.
Not anymore though! Ministers this week passed a law which will give Transport for London the power to regulate the cowboy industry, while also opening a public consultation inviting people to “have their say”. City PM investigated the matter last year and would like to spare a thought for “the big boss in King’s Cross” (the alleged pedicab kingpin who drivers licence their vehicles from) whose business will no doubt be destroyed by the parallel “scourge” of red tape.
W H SHIFT
The Capitalist hates to point the finger, but we can’t remember the last time we or anyone we’re associated with went in a WH Smith. There are simply more efficient places to buy pencil cases, and it seems retail strategists can’t wait to see the back of them. “There’s no compelling reason to visit,” market adaptation expert Mike Greene confessed – putting his thoughts in an email, rather than on a notepad, as is customary. “Every product or service they provide is now more easily served elsewhere.” Meanwhile Stephanie Thomas, head of retail experience at VCCP, told The Capitalist she believes the brand has died by lack of charisma. “Waterstones’ ability to strike a balance between the charm of in-store shopping showcases its adaptability,” she said. “Quite simply, WH Smith needs to adapt meaningfully.”
COULD CRYPTO SAVE BRITAIN?
There comes a time when all governments start to search down the back of the sofa for extra cash, but imagine realising there’s £60bn sitting on a hard drive in a civil servant’s desk. Though there is some confusion as to what now happens to £5bn worth of Bitcoin seized by UK authorities after an anti-money laundering investigation, analysis from Techopedia this week suggests that if the British state holds on to it for five years it could hit a £62.2bn valuation if the crypto currency continues to gain value in line with the past five years. And, if it does, it could theoretically be worth trillions just a few decades from now. Problems solved!
KNOTTY PROBLEM
Keir Starmer is talking a good game on slashing regulation but does anyone seriously believe he came into politics to slash red tape? He’s so keen on tackling regulation that he’s – wait for it – setting up a new regulator to oversee the regulators. He’s right to say that regulations have “spread through the British economy like Japanese knotweed” but the thing is, as any gardener will tell you, knotweed has a habit of coming back. Even just a small amount left behind can lie dormant for years before bursting forth again, entangling everything in its path.
GHOSTED BY THE TAXMAN
The taxman is no stranger to bad press, but a damning report on HMRC’s customer service published last week will be particularly riling for those who have left it to the wire to file their end of year accounts (The Capitalist knows of a few). According to the report, HMRC failed to pick up the phone to a third of calls in the last full tax year, while those they did answer were automatically and unannouncedly cut off after 70 minutes. This comes to the surprise of nobody who has ever had to call HMRC. For those of you with particularly strong flashbacks, The Capitalist would like to remind you that, yes, we’re afraid the deadline is tomorrow.
PRESERVING THE FLICKS
Cinema advertising moguls Pearl & Dean – the people who make the fun little jingle that plays before movies (you’ll know what we mean when you next go) – are fighting to save the independent Prince Charles Cinema. The Capitalist is sad to hear about the demise, but not entirely surprised. The cinema’s landlord Criterion Capital was called “the meanest landlord in Britain” by The Times after its founders took legal action against restaurants after they struggled to make rent payments during the pandemic. The Prince Charles, with its off-kilter film showings and sing-a-long performances, must be saved. Our capital is nothing without its glorious cultural institutions.