The Capitalist: Labour’s no-Party Conference; Rightmove’s drama Down Under; R.I.P. our dots
Dispatches from Labour Party Conference, Rightmove’s hopping executives, and the rise of coffee-badging: catch up on the latest City gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
LABOUR’S NO-PARTY CONFERENCE
The Capitalist was concerned that we might feel a little unwelcome at the Labour Party Conference, but we needn’t have worried; Keir “wealth creation” Starmer flung his arms open and welcomed City executives to various private events. True, many of those executives have since complained that the £3K price tag was a total waste of money and ministers told them nothing of interest, but in terms of vibes we’ve come a long way since Jeremy Corbyn (“a friend as well as a colleague” – Starmer, K) was advocating the overthrow of capitalist forces.
In keeping with Starmer’s preferred approach of “moderation”, the conference did lack edginess. Panel organisers had been warned to avoid difficult questions – like, err, what the government’s actual policies are – and MPs were given strict instructions not to celebrate their election victory too enthusiastically. So it was left to Fleet Street’s finest to indulge in signature cocktails such as ‘Keir’s Pineapple Pub Punch’ – named after the PM’s beloved local. Though whoever came up with the recipe for ‘Rayner’s Rave’ (with ingredients like jasmine syrup and red amaranth) clearly doesn’t know the deputy Labour leader very well. Last year she revealed that her favourite tipple is ‘Venom’ – which she helpfully described as “a bottle of vodka – I prefer Absolut – a bottle of Southern Comfort, ten bottles of Blue WKD and a litre of pure orange juice”.
That must be what Starmer had in mind when he used his conference speech to promise a government of “moderation.”
YOUR MOVE, RIGHTMOVE
They say that buying your first house is among the most stressful things you can do, so spare a thought for the Australian adventurists, Rea, currently trying to buy Rightmove. The Capitalist has activated its antipodean moles and detected increasingly high levels of frustration, bordering on bafflement, that the UK-based property search giant just isn’t engaging with the Rupert Murdoch-backed bid. Stress levels must be high across the board, not least for Rightmove’s CFO, Ruaridh Hook, who only stepped into the role after news of the audacious bid leaked from Down Under. Hook took on the job after long-serving CFO Alison Dolan jumped ship to M&S in the summer, a move which prompted M&S director Andrew Fisher to quit the retailer’s board since he also happens to chair… Rightmove. Strewth, it’s like an episode of Neighbours.
KNOW YOUR READERS
The former economics editor of The Times, Peter Jay, lived a rich and varied life. Jay, who died last week aged 87, also served as British ambassador to Washington and chief of staff to Robert Maxwell. The Spectator’s James Heale paid tribute to Jay by recalling the occasion when a brave sub editor at The Times complained that one of his articles was too difficult to understand. “I only wrote this for three people,” said the great man – never short of confidence – “The editor of The Times, the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Governor of the Bank of England.” At City PM we only write for two of those three.
ROBO-EDITORS? NOT TO WORRY
Our editor was asked by a Square Mile chief recently whether City PM uses AI. “No,” he replied, “but AI uses us”. This is the reality for publishers these days; Google and other platforms draw on published articles to synthesise the answers to users’ queries, deterring people from actually heading to the news website in the first place. Perhaps it’s time we used AI to fight back? The City PM newsroom was spooked this week by a podcast recording in which two articulate and well-informed people debated a City PM article about pensions. The only issue is, the people weren’t real and the ‘podcast’ was entirely AI-generated. Will this new tool see the light of day? When asked, our editor said “there are already too many real podcasts in the world”.
OFFICE AVOIDANTS
The return to office working seems to have been successful in fostering a wave of innovation from employees – just not in the way their employers may have hoped, with workers now channelling their creative thinking into office avoidance tactics. Following news last week that Amazon was ordering staff back to the office five days a week, former AWS engineer John McBride took to X to air his grievances at the policy, while also giving some tips on some of his Amazon colleagues’ tried and tested ways to avoid the office.
Chief among these was a tactic known as “coffee badging” (described by McBride as “the classic”) – “badging in during lunch, grabbing a free coffee or snack, and immediately leaving” – though McBride noted this is more of a delaying manoeuvre (“this worked for a few weeks until they started tracking time actually ‘in’ the office”). His other tips included giving your swipe card to a friend and having them “turn up” on your behalf. There were other examples, but when we went back to the post to check, it had been taken down.
Meanwhile, psychologist Sir Cary Cooper, known for coining the term ‘presenteeism’, branded those asking their staff to work from the office as “the dinosaurs of our age” – an epithet The Capitalist, a natural office enthusiast, has decided to take as a compliment. For those unenthusiastic about returning to the daily commute, we suggest livening it up with a copy of London’s premier business freesheet.
R.I.P. DOTS
Speaking of, even the un-eagle-eyed of you will no doubt have noticed we’ve had a glow up! The Capitalist is enjoying its new do, but would like to spare a thought for City PM’s former dots (City PM), which are retiring after an illustrious 19-year career. Our style guide-devoted sub editors have shed a tear, but are ready to embrace City PM’s smoother, dotless future.