The Capitalist: Jeremy Hunt demands toaster back from Rachel Reeves
Is Rachel Reeves toast? We don’t know, but we do know Jeremy Hunt wants his toaster back; catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
MILQUETOAST POLITICS FOR RACHEL REEVES
Kemi Badenoch may have declared Rachel Reeves “toast” at a teary PMQs yesterday afternoon, but it’s a toaster that’s got Jeremy Hunt’s goat with the Chancellor. At a recent Q&A with City law firm Crowell & Moring, the former Tory Chancellor revealed he has been trying to get his toaster back from 11 Downing Street, with his texts to Reeves yielding no result. His children love toast, he lamented. Other questions fielded by the lawyers were just as insightful, including asking if Hunt would go on Strictly. The Capitalist has no additional intel on that matter, but reportedly the former Chancellor said he can do a rhumba.
TOP OF THE STOCKS
Most families look to pass painful long journeys with impatient young children by playing eye-spy or – if that fails – reaching for the iPad. Not so in the household in which Emma Sinclair, the youngest person ever to bring a company to IPO in the UK, grew up. The Capitalist was amused to hear the Mission Capital founder tell a Rathebones event that, aged just seven, she would engage in hard fought games of ‘guess the share price’, instead. The Capitalist heartily condones Sinclair’s gamified attempt to stay abreast of London’s magical capital markets – though they don’t quite feel brave enough to roll it out in their own home.
WHITEHALL GOES DOTTY
It’s good to know that in these times of global peril and economic fragility, the beating heart of Whitehall continues to pump out vital work for the good of the nation. Civil servants have published a 150 page dossier – longer than the Strategic Defence Review – to explain the new dot in the government’s logo. Shifting the dot in gov.uk up into the middle of the space (a typographical challenge beyond City PM’s technical ability) apparently represents “a bridge between government and the UK” – and serves as “a guiding hand for life.” The rebrand (and accompanying management-speak word salad) cost a cool £500,000. Absolutely dotty.
OUT!
Meanwhile, yesterday, The Capitalist was on the receiving end of what just might be the weirdest – or most ingenious – public relations campaign of the year. Expertly inserting itself into two hot button discussions of the week – Wimbledon and Cash Isas – investment platform IG Group tapped Aussie tennis legend Pat Cash to painstakingly explain how investing almost always generates better returns than saving. With no end of ‘return’, ‘cash’, and ‘serve’ puns, the press release brought a wry smile to the face of your diarist; a better reaction than that of their editor, who when confronted with the campaign simply said: “Good God.”
GOSSIP SERVED AT PRIVATE WIMBLEDON BASH
Wimbledon is in full swing but it’s the off-court antics where the best action is taking place. The Capitalist was invited to an exclusive garden party at a Wimbledon mansion that cost the host £70,000 to rent for the fortnight – all in the name of impressing rich American investors. It’s fair to say that a couple of jugs of Pimm’s and some bubbly loosened lips, and one of the very influential invitees broke the formalities to plunge into the pool. Top British players, apparel figures and Ivy League elites were all in attendance. Sadly, phones were discouraged and the party was so fabulous The Capitalist wouldn’t dare squander an invite for next year.