The Capitalist: Former tennis star serves a back-hander at Queen’s
Summer parties, a City PM victory, and a former tennis star gets shady at Queen’s; catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
A BACK-HANDER AT QUEEN’S TENNIS
The Capitalist was at the receiving end of a shady serve at the HSBC Championships, otherwise known as Queen’s, last week when accosted by a well-known former tennis player with a bone to pick. The Capitalist was mid cheersing champers in the club’s premier lounge when the former Wimbledon semi-finalist bowled over. Upon finding out he was in the company of journalists, the sportsman-turned-spokesman was keen to offload about a recent magazine spread that he said included misinformation about his family life.
In a bid to teach his children a lesson about fake news, he made them read the piece, then spot the errors. If the piece about their dad was riddled with inaccuracies, then think about how much crap they read online, he vented, before waxing lyrical about his tennis career to a room of high-net-worths. We can promise it’s only sparkly-clean accurate copy from us, but as for the industry as a whole, we fear he’s got a hill to climb.
YELLOW CARD
The Capitalist was this week bemused to hear Jonathan Reynolds use a speech to compare his role for business to the one that veteran midfielder – and fellow ‘Mackem’ – Jordan Henderson plays for the England team. “The government’s job is never to be the star striker,” he told the SMMT’s annual West End jamboree. “That’s your job. But I like to be… the Jordan Henderson… dictating the pace of play… to give businesses the best opportunity to put the ball into the net.” The strained metaphor did, admittedly, raise a few laughs, though one hopes the business secretary was referring to the swashbuckling Jordan Henderson of 2018-20 – not the one who has been booed by fans at several of his most recent outings for the Three Lions.
But perhaps not: The Capitalist has heard one venerable City institution now uses the term “breakfast with Reynolds” to describe a meeting at which nothing interesting happens.
FINSBURY SQUARE BOWLED OVER BY CITY AM
Congratulations to City PM’s head of operations, Sophie Pearce, who was the overall winner at the Bowls Club’s famed bowl off in Finsbury Square last week. She raised her rosette atop the podium after fending off competition from plenty of competent corporates, and it was pleasing to see City PM venerated just metres from the offices of The London Standard.
That being said, The Capitalist fears some corruption among the judges. “I was blue not red,” the detail-oriented ops manager observed, after noticing the red ball closest to the target. The Capitalist can’t verify either way because our bowling had gone rather skew-whiff after the fifth glass of bubbly.
MARRED UP
Life comes at you fast. The day after Labour won power, veteran broadcaster Andrew Marr told Question Time that “for the first time in many of our lives, Britain looks like a little haven of peace and stability”. As we approach the glorious anniversary of Labour’s thumping election victory, he’s been forced to reassess, writing in the New Statesman that the country is “febrile” and that the Chancellor is so “extraordinarily unpopular among Labour MPs” that, according to “quite moderate Labour MPs” if Starmer doesn’t sack her then he – and his government – may be “over, done, finished.” Stability, eh? Was nice while it lasted.
MP STUNT WATCH
Total Politics chief Mark Wallace had a nervous time organising the group’s summer bash for MPs and journalists in the gardens of Westminster Abbey. “What if Ed Davey’s plan to skydive into the party gets derailed by a gust of wind? What if Robert Jenrick spots a mugging on the way here and has to intervene?” he anxiously mused. Happily, The Capitalist can report there were no political stunts in sight.