The Capitalist: A Reeves speech or swan song? Dispatch from Mansion House
Summer evenings with Rachel Reeves, Geoff Hurst and Keval Joshi; catch up on the latest gossip in this week’s The Capitalist
THE ELEPHANT IN MANSION HOUSE
Sat just in front of the Chancellor and hundreds of City bigwigs in a sweltering Mansion House on Tuesday night was a rather unusual creature: a huge grey elephant. Rachel Reeves was addressing the room as Chancellor, but as everyone there knew, she won’t be for long.
Rather than the substance of her speech, chatter among the guests focused instead on who might be delivering it next year. Ed Miliband did not get a warm response. Pat McFadden is underpriced, reckoned one punter.
Reeves herself was awarded a patronisingly long round of applause as she sat down, in the kind of retrospective warmth offered to public figures no longer in active duty.
But the evening did not seem to grab everyone’s attention. As his opposite number Andrew Bailey addressed the room on ring-fencing and the threat of AI, FCA boss Nikhil Rathi seemed to allow himself just a few moments of shut-eye.
NEVER STOP HIM WORKING
Sir Geoff Hurst – the last surviving player from England’s World Cup ‘66 triumph – might be 84, but he still works hard. A few years ago, he hilariously crow-barred a mention of Budweiser into a television interview, provoking fans to nickname him “Jeff Budweiser.” Ahead of this week’s semi-final, The Capitalist joined Hurst for a pint. Over a Budweiser (what else?) Hurst fulfilled his contractual obligations by regaling us with old stories. In “the medieval times”, he said, he would go to the pub after matches to get pissed. “Can you imagine that, without everybody coming up and saying ‘can I have a selfie?’” he said. ”We’d be at the pub all night then go to another pub afterward and stay there all night. We wouldn’t eat until about midnight, which was bloody stupid.”
The only sign 84-year-old Hurst is getting on a bit? He couldn’t remember the name of the pub he’d get trollied at before matches. “This bloody pub,” he scowled. When he remembered it – “The Black Lion” in Plaistow – everyone cheered. Sixty years later, Hurst still has us in raptures.
CITY-OH-BOY!
Former broker and professional gossip Geraint Anderson, known for writing the anonymous ‘Cityboy’ column in the noughties, has returned to sensationalism with his new satirical book, How To Con Friends and Manipulate People, a guide to getting on top in the City through the art of being a psychopath. It seems, however, that the subtlety of such irony has been lost on some. Signing books at Waterstones in Canary Wharf earlier this month, Anderson says he was approached by a suited City worker clutching a well-thumbed copy of his book to sign, who lavished him in praise for such a good read.
The two chatted for a couple of minutes before the worker suddenly looked puzzled: “Are you saying this is a parody?” Somehow, he’d read the entire book believing it was a sincere guide to self-improvement – a sign, says Anderson, that modern corporate culture has become so murky the line between satire and reality is now increasingly hard to find. He added he’s been warned by an American friend that it will be viewed as completely straight in the States.
KEVAL IN CONCERT
Writers, editors, salespeople, designers, we hire a lot of great talent at City PM, but one that doesn’t come up so often is Indian hand drumming. That is until night designer Keval Joshi joined our ranks. Catch him this Saturday at Omnom in Islington for a live Bollywood concert!
TERRY’S TYPOS
Known for their candour and insight, Terry Smith’s letters have become a must-read for City investors over the years.
This summer’s instalment caught eagle-eyed Square Mile wags’ attention for altogether less positive reasons, though. During a characteristically uncompromising polemic on Unilever, the Fundsmith founder misspelt the names of two of the FMCG juggernaut’s recent chief executives. Elsewhere in typo-laden tome, there were sentences that didn’t make sense, and a distinct lack of punctuation.
The Capitalist takes a dim view on any AI-assisted writing – but perhaps Britain’s Buffett could lean on Claude’s spell-check function for his next market musing?