I don’t have time to get into a relationship
DEAR VEXED: I am desperate for a relationship but my work is so demanding I have no time during the week and tend to be exhausted at weekends. Work is really important to me and I’m not willing to switch down a gear or change professions – does this mean I must make my peace with a life of singledom?
Mark, 33, solicitor.
I stand by the saying “where there’s a will there’s a way”. First, you don’t need to panic about having no time during the working week, largely because this is (evidently) more common than you think. Lots of people in a range of City jobs never – or rarely – socialise on weekdays. If they do get out of work early, many choose the gym or dinner with an old friend or contact over anything else. There are also a lot of couples who only see each other on weekends due to work schedules and manage to make it all the more special because of it.
In terms of building a relationship, why not go online, where you’re sure to find people in a similar situation as you. There are several dating websites geared towards high-powered City folk, such as Berkeley International (www.berkeley-international.com), which caters exclusively to those with a very high net worth, and KyuBid.com, set up by an ex-City banker, where you trade dates online through a bidding system. Just Courting (www.justcourting.com) is a high-end bespoke matchmaking service for professionals. Even sites such as Match.com and MySingleFriend.com work well for all types of people.
So you have no cause for concern. There are thousands of people out there who want the exact same thing as you – and who might even work harder than you do. If you meet someone offline who you really want to make time for, perhaps you can re-examine your current schedule. It may be that you are actually putting in unnecessary hours at work – often people use anxiety to fuel excess work. Perhaps you’d work better and more productively by cutting hours. It’s also an issue you can discuss with your boss or HR manager without seeming like you’re slacking. I bet if you started leaving at 7:30 or 8pm every night, you’d get just as much done – and, providing you didn’t overdo it on boozy suppers and late nights, you could quite possibly use week nights for dating.
Think about rearranging any commitments and habits you’ve formed as a bachelor. If you meet someone you like, maybe cut down on those Sundays spent in the pub with your mates. It’s all about priorities – and yours are work and finding love. That’s more than doable.