Harmless mummy’s boy – or sponger?
DEAR VEXED: I’ve been single for ages and just recently met a guy. On paper he’s pretty good: he works for a top City law firm and he’s just been promoted. We get along well and he seems really sweet, but I just found out he still lives at home. He’s 32. Anna, 31, banker
HE may well be attractive, he’s nice and he does seem solvent. So why on earth does he live at home? Unless he is unable to afford any rent at all, there really is no excuse for a grown man to live with his parents. I’m afraid that, based on this, you’d better approach him with a good deal of caution. He’d might have a good excuse – but I can’t imagine what that could be.
The usual reasons people live at home are that it’s rent-free and they either don’t have the money to afford actual rent, or they do, but they’re just unbelievably stingy. Or, of course, they’re just big babies who enjoy being looked after. Some parents like to have their kids around, as it solves the empty nest problem. But no matter how persistently a mother offers to cook you dinner or do your laundry, it is a simple matter of decency to decline, and to take care of yourself.
Your man – unless there’s something very odd going on – earns enough to live on his own. That he chooses to live at home implies that he’s at best a mummy’s boy (this is never easy for a girlfriend) and at worst, a shameless, lazy, possibly misogynistic sponger.
If the above sounds too harsh: ask yourself this. Are you prepared to play host after every date?
Because that’s what you’ll have to do right from the beginning if you don’t fancy bumping into his mum or dad on the way to the toilet in the middle of the night. [email protected]