Don’t let men pat you on the head
I WAS shocked recently by the article, “IT Girl Grows Up” where Tamara Beckwith was interviewed and calls her husband a chauvinist, lauding his statement: “You are a woman, you do as you are told.” She responds: “It’s quite nice actually for once to do as you are told.”
This is when I dream of Jeannie stuff the 1960s TV sitcom. “Master this, and master that.” Surely in the year 2009 that can’t be put forth as anyone growing up.
Compare this to Tamara Mellon – also from a dynasty, also born in London, who has created the tidy shoe empire Jimmy Choo.
Why is this important? When men are freaked out by strong women, they take one of the following attack approaches: 1, they try to spin it that the woman is really weak; 2, they try to suggest they are responsible for the success; or 3, they get personal.
Rare is the man so strong in his skin to be complimentary about a strong woman’s track record.
FRENCH CONNECTIONS
Jacques Attali, the French adviser to President Francois Mitterrand in the 80s, recently decided to set the record straight 25 years after former British Prime Minister Lady Thatcher secured a historic concession and return of funds to the UK from the European Commission that in fact, far from being the Iron Lady, she wept and begged for mercy.
Attali has waited until Thatcher as an 84 year woman can’t defend herself anymore to deliver this punchline. He probably still winces at being outdone by a woman.
This past weekend, the news that pre-nuptials are on their way to becoming legal hit the papers after the victory of Katrin Radmacher. Men and women both have the right to protect their wealth.
Too many women consider finding a man as their ticket in life. This behaviour leads men to become cynical about womens’ goals with them.
Whether a woman wants to build a family, an empire or something in between, growing up is the process of accepting that responsibility for oneself. I admire Beckwith for accepting responsibility for her teenage indiscretion. That takes enormous wisdom.
Among non-British women in the UK, we wonder frequently where are the British female executives leading British businesses.
For example, why was the London Stock Exchange run by a Dutch woman, and Pearson run by an American woman?
There is a correlation between allowing men in our private lives to pat us on the head in the manner of Mad Men’s leading character Don Draper, and ceding our power to execute our contribution in the world.
It’s not that misogyny is bad; it’s that too many women are complicit with it. Sisters – let your strength loose on the world, and don’t look back.
Julie Meyer is chief executive of Ariadne Capital.