Could Zack Polanski be the Conservatives’ useful idiot?
Rather than being scared of Zack Polanski, perhaps those on the centre right should learn to stop worrying and embrace the Green Party leader’s potential to unseat Labour, argues James Ford
Zack Polanski is many things: failed actor, dodgy hypnotist, one-time chorister, former Liberal Democrat and Rizzle Kicks fan. He is also extremely popular with a certain corner of the electorate. To date, the accepted reaction amongst the commentariat to the popularity of the Green Party’s new leader has been a kind of surprised panic. The Evening Standard has warned that Polanski is a devotee of the ‘magic money tree’ school of public policy. A leader in The Times claimed the Greens posed “grave dangers”. City PM’s own Editor was driven to shake his head in despair at Polanski’s plans for a wealth tax. Even I, dear reader, have got in on the act and used a past column to alert Londoners that Polanski could potentially become mayor. In some quarters, the reaction has been positively hyperbolic: Quentin Letts wrote “his jagged, gapped teeth had shades of Hannibal Lecter. Better watch out”. Scary stuff.
This deluge of disdain has not gone unnoticed by the man himself. Recently he took to the pages of The Guardian (where else) to protest: “The right can mock my teeth all it wants – it shows the Greens have struck a nerve.”
But maybe those of us who are alarmed by Polanski’s rise and what it seems to say about the gullibility of many of the British public are focussing on the wrong things. Does it really matter if he previously claimed he could enlarge women’s breasts through hypnosis? Recent experience tells us that a dubious CV is no barrier to holding high political office – just ask the Chancellor or the Chief Whip. Even his past membership of that most deranged of political cults – the Lib Dems – does not debar him from climbing to the apex of British public life. Afterall, Liz Truss was a card-carrying member of the orange peril in her misspent youth.
Tories for Zack!
Rather than being scared of Zack Polanski, ought not Zack Polanski’s many opponents on the centre right just learn to relax? Sure, Polanski is an idiot. But he can be our useful idiot. The Labour Party have far more to fear from the popular touch of Zack Polanski than the Conservatives, or even Reform. An opinion poll in October put the Greens ahead of Labour for the first time. Of the 40 seats where the Greens came second in the 2024 election, 39 of them are Labour-held. Across the country, Labour councillors are defecting to join Polanski’s growing party. A recent LabourList poll of party members found that one in five think the Greens are Labour’s biggest threat. There has even been a serious suggestion that the Greens could take the Prime Minister’s seat of Holborn and St Pancras at the next election, with Polanski mooted as the likely challenger.So, I’m making it a personal resolution not to castigate, condemn or criticise Zack Polanski in print anymore. He can hypnotise whoever he likes. His grasp on economics can remain as tenuous as a toddler’s. His teeth are an issue for him and his dentist alone. From now on I am going to be his biggest cheerleader. Whilst I’m never going to vote Green personally, I may well start a “Tories for Zack” group. Perhaps, like his breast enhancement business, we can think enough positive thoughts to enlarge the Greens’ poll ratings and shrink Labour’s majority. Zack’s success will be Labour’s undoing. (With the added bonus of ousting Keir Starmer from Parliament thrown in for good measure). That is something all self-respecting Conservatives should be able to rally behind. Come on Zack – Toryism needs you!
James Ford is a former advisor to Mayor of London Boris Johnson